Alex, Alex, Alex
I was not ready or willing to say goodbye until now. I am sorry I could not mourn and celebrate your life concurrently.
As you will best understand, I took refuge from the pain in the mountains, rivers and oceans surrounding our home to contemplate your life and its passing.
To lose you was to lose a very special piece of me and the childhood we shared each summer with a decade between us.
I recall swimming in the pool at the lodge and then on a regular basis swimming the width of the lake as we had outgrown the man made boundaries prepared for us there. Resting on the far bank out of breath and during the first few attempts you resting on me as I back stroked us in to complete it.
I loved getting up early with you for hikes along the banks of the river where I introduced you to cloud busting and calling the wind at age 12 and the miracle of the present moment engulfing us in silence and peace.
You were special, open and receptive to a larger spirit. A love we both shared and lived to share with others.
There were several mountain tops we shared in your youth, many found off trail together. It seems that was the one path through life we continued to share, though we’re not aware of it in our adulthood.
I loved you like a child and brother, having none of my own back then. All my photos of us are filled with smiling and being close, a bond family has the luxury of building.
I recall staying up late at night and listening to your stories and love of rocks and experiments. I will never forget giving you your first whittling knife and teaching you as our grandfather had taught me to hold and use the knife to make the desired cuts.
A pile of chips you could stand on after a few hours, we had carved some quality spears and were off for the hunt in your parents forest and creek. The adventure was always ripe for the taking, and we often grabbed it together.
There was that time we were racing down the mountain on our mountain bikes and I hit the jump wrong loosing all the skin on my forearm and power washing the rocks out with your water bottle so we could keep going. The adventure was too sweet to miss or cut short.
I love you so much Alex and the history we share continues to be written here and now. Your presence and peace was clearly fostered to a remarkable degree as all your friends attest to. You will always live in my embrace and our smiles written on my heart will continue to shine until we meet again.
I bow deeply to you brother.